Aldea Spiritual Community

Myth-busting Relationships | Jake Haber & Olivia Girard

This candid and vulnerable conversation between Jake & Olivia explores four common myths about relationships and how they can limit connection, growth, and authenticity—whether you’re single or partnered.
 
We unpack the cultural narratives that tell us someone else should “complete” us, that change is dangerous to a relationship, that conflict is a sign of failure, and that there’s only one “true” reality between two people. With humor, stories, and spiritual insight, this talk is an invitation to embrace change, navigate conflict with grace, and cultivate deeper connection by truly seeing and supporting one another.
 
Quotes:
 
It is not the responsibility of your partner to make you happy. That is your job. And until you accept that, you will never be truly happy in a relationship. — Elizabeth Gilbert
The romantic view is that our partners are here to make us whole. The wiser view is that they are here to help us become ourselves. — Alain de Botton
The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed. — Carl Jung
Most people are going to have two or three relationships or marriages in their lifetime. Some of us are going to do it with the same person. — Esther Perel
The success of a relationship is not measured by how few arguments you have, but by how gracefully you navigate the ones that inevitably arise. — Alain de Botton
It’s not about solving the problem. It’s about being present with each other in the midst of it… You don’t need to fix your partner’s feelings. You need to show them they’re not alone in them. — Sue Johnson
One of the most important skills in intimacy is learning to tolerate two different realities at the same time. — Terry Real
Empathy is not connecting to an experience, it’s connecting to the emotions that underpin the experience. That means we don’t have to have the same story to feel with someone. — Brené Brown
 

ETHOS (Part 15): Humanity | Jake Haber

As we close our gargantuan ETHOS series, we explore the theme of humanity...not just as a concept, but as a way of being. What does it mean to be truly human in a time when empathy can feel dangerous and dehumanization is common? We take a hard look at our capacity for compassion, our inclination toward “us vs. them” thinking, and how our values shape the way we show up in the world.
 
Drawing from stories, history, and modern examples, we unpack how honoring our shared humanity is the key to healing ourselves, our communities, and the systems we’re part of. This finale in our ETHOS series brings it all together, reminding us that the values that define a full life are the same values that make us more human.
 
 
“In times of crisis, we must decide again and again whether to become more or less human.” – Terry Tempest Williams
“The capacity for empathy is the distinguishing mark of humanity.” – J.M. Coetzee
“The fundamental weakness of Western civilization is empathy.” – Elon Musk
“No more apologies for a bleeding heart when the opposite is no heart at all. Danger of losing our humanity must be met with more humanity.” – Toni Morrison
“Dehumanization distances not only the out‑group from the in‑group, but those in the in‑group from their own humanity. It makes slaves to groupthink of everyone in the hierarchy.” – Isabel Wilkerson
“What makes us human is not our mind but our heart, not our ability to think but our ability to love.” – Henri Nouwen
“There was once a man traveling from Jerusalem to Jericho. On the way he was attacked by robbers. They took his clothes, beat him up, and went off leaving him half-dead. Luckily, a priest was on his way down the same road, but when he saw him he angled across to the other side. Then a Levite religious man showed up; he also avoided the injured man. “A Samaritan traveling the road came on him.When he saw the man’s condition, his heart went out to him. He gave him first aid, disinfecting and bandaging his wounds. Then he lifted him onto his donkey, led him to an inn, and made him comfortable. In the morning he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take good care of him. If it costs any more, put it on my bill—I’ll pay you on my way back.’ “What do you think? Which of the three became a neighbor to the man attacked by robbers?” “The one who treated him kindly,” the religion scholar responded. Jesus said, “Go and do the same.”—Luke 10:25-37
“This ain’t nothing, but it might be everything. And the paradox of that is, if I live like it’s everything, then I might actually live a life that’s so beautiful, it might be worth continuing for eternity.” – Ryan Meeks
“When it comes to firefighters, there’s no borders…There’s nothing that’ll avoid us from helping another firefighter, another family. It doesn’t matter where we’re at in the world. That’s the whole point of our discipline and what we do.” – Ismael Aldaba
 

ETHOS (Part 14): Humility | Jake Haber

In this message, we explore humility not as self-belittlement, but as a powerful grounding force that reconnects us with ourselves, each other, and the Earth. From cosmic perspectives to our own human awkwardness, we journey through what it means to live low to the ground—in the best way possible.
Quotes:
Richard Rohr:
“I have prayed for years for one good humiliation a day, and then, I must watch my reaction to it. I have no other way of spotting both my denied shadow self and my idealized persona.”
Carl Sagan:
“It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.”
Carl Sagan:
“For small creatures such as we, the vastness is bearable only through love.”
Genesis 3:19:
“From dust you are and to dust you shall return.”
Nisargadatta Maharaj:
“Wisdom tells me I am nothing. Love tells me I am everything. Between the two, my life flows.”
 

ETHOS (Part 13): Forgiveness | Jake Haber

Forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood yet liberating forces in our lives. In this message, we explore what forgiveness really means—not as a religious duty, but as a radical act of spiritual freedom. From the weight we carry toward others, to the harsh inner critic within ourselves, to the bitterness we can unknowingly harbor toward life itself—this talk invites us to release, reflect, and reimagine.
 
We’re not here to excuse harm, erase consequences, or forget what’s been done. We’re here to heal. We explore how forgiveness can free us from the cycle of pain, debt, and self-punishment, allowing us to begin again—with others, with ourselves, and with life itself
 
This isn’t about pretending it didn’t happen. It’s about choosing a path of liberation.
 
Quotes:
 
 
Cūḷamālunkya Sutta (MN 63) –
“It’s as if a man were wounded by an arrow thickly smeared with poison, and his friends and companions brought a surgeon to treat him. But the man would say: ‘I won’t let the surgeon pull out this arrow until I know who shot me—was it a noble, a brahmin, a merchant, or a worker? What was his name? What village did he come from? What kind of bow did he use? Was the bow made of horn or wood? What kind of string? What kind of arrow? What feathers were used? What was the poison?’
 
That man would die before he ever found the answers to all his questions."
David Whyte – “Forgiveness is a profound interior act that allows us to lay down the burdens we have been carrying—toward others, toward ourselves, toward the way life has unfolded.”
Roshi Joan Halifax – “Sometimes the hardest person to forgive is the one staring back at you in the mirror.”
Jack Kornfield – “Forgiveness is giving up all hope of a better past.”
James Baldwin – “Forgiveness is not for the other person. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. But it does not mean you forget or that you excuse the harm done.”
Desmond Tutu – “Forgiving is not forgetting; it’s actually remembering—remembering and not using your right to hit back. It’s a second chance for a new beginning.”
Stephen Levine – “Forgiveness is not about letting anyone off the hook. It is about understanding that we are all caught in a web of conditioning, trauma, and forgetfulness—and choosing to step out of the cycle.”
Tara Brach – “Radical acceptance is the willingness to experience ourselves and our life as it is.”
 

ETHOS (Part 12): Presence | Jake Haber

In this soul-stirring message from our ETHOS series, we dive deep into the transformative power of presence—not as a trendy concept, but as the foundation of a full, grounded, and values-driven life. Drawing on stories, humor, and personal reflections, we challenge the cultural pull toward distraction and future-chasing, offering a counterintuitive invitation: that real freedom, depth, and connection arise when we stop trying to control everything and simply show up—right here, right now.
 
Whether it’s discomfort, uncertainty, or even mundane moments like being stuck in traffic, this message offers a radical reframe: presence isn’t just a nice-to-have—it’s the key to a life well-lived, to genuine relationships, and to spiritual depth.
 
This is a reminder to stop postponing your aliveness for a “better” future and instead ask: What would it mean to be fully here—today, in this moment, as you are?
 
Quotes:
 
 
Krista Tippett:
“The spiritual life is not a separate compartment of life, but the deepening of presence in every part of it.”
Eckhart Tolle:
“The more you are focused on time—past and future—the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.”
Thich Nhat Hanh:
“Life is available only in the present moment. If you abandon the present moment, you cannot live the moments of your daily life deeply.”
Michael A. Singer:
“Eventually you will see that the real cause of problems is not life itself. It’s the commotion the mind makes about life that really causes the problems.”
Alan Watts:
“No valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now.”
Tara Brach:
“The biggest disease of our time is the disconnection from our bodies, from our own hearts. And the medicine is presence.”
Sigmund Freud:
“One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.”
 

ETHOS (Part 11): Vulnerability | Jake Haber

This message dives deep into the misunderstood terrain of vulnerability—not as weakness, but as the courageous art of being seen. Drawing from thinkers like David Whyte, James Baldwin, Henri Nouwen, and Richard Rohr, we explore how unmasking ourselves is both a risk and a path to freedom.
 
What if your wounds weren’t problems to fix, but places where light gets in?
What if healing isn’t about having answers, but sharing presence in the ache?
What if your mask—your armor—is the very thing keeping you from love?
 
Join us as we unpack the paradox: the more we risk, the safer we become. This is a message for anyone who’s ever asked, “Am I enough?” You are. Not because you’re perfect—but because you’re real.
 
 At Aldea, we don’t strive to fix each other—we strive to see each other.
 
Come, unmask with us. The truth will set you free.
 
Quotes:
 
 
David Whyte
“Vulnerability is not a weakness, a passing indisposition, or something we can arrange to do without.
Vulnerability is the underlying, ever-present, and abiding undercurrent of our natural state…
To run from vulnerability is to run from the essence of our nature.
The attempt to be invulnerable is the vain attempt to become something we are not
and most especially, to close off our understanding of the grief of others.”
Richard Rohr
“We wear the masks that keep us from the very love we long for.”
Leonard Cohen 
“There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.”
Henri Nouwen
“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain…”
James Finley
“It’s a very vulnerable thing to be loved because you risk being seen.”
James Baldwin
“Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.”
 

ETHOS (Part 10): Life is a Gift, Love is the Point | Ryan Meeks & Jake Haber

Check out this rich and heartfelt conversation with Ryan Meeks as we explore the depth of his guiding phrase: “Life is a Gift, Love is the Point.”
 
Ryan shares with honesty and humor about milestone experiences that have shaped his journey—including the bold and transformational shift of EastLake Church, which he founded in the early 2000s. Under his leadership, EastLake evolved from a fast-growing evangelical megachurch to an inclusive spiritual community that made headlines when it fully embraced LGBTQ+ inclusion and reimagined its core values around love, justice, and belonging.
 
We also dive into Ryan’s deeply personal journey through cancer and how it has further shaped his understanding of what really matters in life. And we talk about his current work helping others build lives of meaning and purpose beyond religious boxes—work that resonates deeply with Aldea’s vision of open-hearted, inclusive spirituality.
 
If you’re drawn to conversations about spiritual evolution, personal authenticity, and building communities where love truly is the point, this is one you won’t want to miss.
 
To learn more about Ryan and his work, visit loveisthepoint.com

ETHOS (Part 9): Compassion | Scott Blades & Jake Haber

Join us for this stirring interview with Scott Blades—founder and executive director of TIHAN, a faith-based non-profit serving those affected by HIV/AIDS in the Tucson region. 
 
In this far-reaching conversation, we explore the importance of compassion as a virtue, the role of stigma in marginalization, and the connective power of empathy. 
 
To learn more about TIHAN, visit TIHAN.org

ETHOS (Part 8): Holism | Jaden Hawkinson & Jake Haber

Enjoy this in-depth conversation with Naturopathic Doctor Jaden Hawkinson, as we explore what it means to live a balanced life of spiritual, emotional, and physical wellness through the lens of "holism".
 
What if we saw our health and wellbeing as more than just symptom management, but as a holistic system where diverse parts interact and work together? What if we pursued "side benefits" instead of simply tolerating "side effects?
 
Learn more or work with Jaden:
 
https://www.jadenhawkinson.com/
https://genesisnmc.com/
 
 

ETHOS (Part 7): Inclusion | Jake Haber

This Pride Month, we’re reflecting on what true inclusion means—not just in theory, but in practice, in our communities, and within ourselves. This message explores the sacred value of belonging, especially for those who have historically been excluded from spiritual spaces. Inclusion isn’t just a feel-good idea—it’s a necessary foundation for healing, identity, and even survival.
 
We dive into the complexities of creating safe spaces, acknowledging the layers of trust and vulnerability needed before genuine self-expression and love can emerge. You’ll hear reflections on how inclusive communities like Aldea have had to take bold stands in the face of resistance—and why that fight still matters.
 
Ultimately, this is an invitation to each of us to examine our internal and external “tables”: Who do we welcome? What parts of ourselves have we yet to embrace? And what might it look like to move toward a deeper, more expansive love—for ourselves, for others, and for the world?
 
Quotes: 
 
Kevin Garcia
“I’m telling you my story because not everyone has survived to tell theirs… bad theology kills… I attempted suicide twice… spent most of my life hating myself and abusing my body with drugs and alcohol… bad theology is killing all of us.”
Dr. Thema Bryant
“You cannot heal in a space that is unsafe. Safety is not a luxury; it is a necessity for wholeness.”
Brené Brown
“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known. And that can only happen when we are safe.”
Kevin Garcia
“Inclusion isn’t about tolerating difference—it’s about celebrating the divine in every expression of it.”
Ram Dass
“Treat everyone you meet like God in drag.”
Barbara Brown Taylor
“The hardest spiritual work in the world is to love the neighbor as the self—to encounter another human being not as someone you can use, change, fix, help, save, enroll, convince, or control, but simply as someone who can spring you into spiritual reverence.”
Brian McLaren
“Why would I trust a God who is less merciful than I am? If I can imagine a more loving God than the one I’ve been taught, maybe that’s the Spirit inviting me to grow.”
Desmond Tutu
“Inclusive, good societies try to accept people as they are—even those whose acceptance of others is still evolving.”
Richard Rohr
“True inclusion doesn’t just welcome the outsider, it calls everyone into deeper maturity, including those who resist it.”